


Whisper to me our last goodbye

by Peggy_Melkovi



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Anger Management, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Bisexual Thomas Jefferson, Bonding, Drunken Flirting, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Monticello (Hamilton), No Smut, One Night Stand, One-Sided Attraction, Regret, Sick Character, Sickness, Smoking, Worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peggy_Melkovi/pseuds/Peggy_Melkovi
Summary: Thomas Jefferson hated Alexander Hamilton from the day he met this young immigrant. He thought nothing could change his opinion until one night did. One morning he woke up in his questionably expensive house just to see Alexander's sleeping face. His smaller body in his bed, most likely from what he can see naked. Both men agreed on keeping this accident a quiet one but all changed when Alexander didn't show up for work for several days and Thomas realizes that his feelings arent as quite simple as he thought they are.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson & James Madison
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone in the office was rolling their eyes at such a familiar interaction between Hamilton and Jefferson. There wasn’t a day without two of them being at each other's throats. So, everyone in the office got used to it and didn’t pay much attention to it. Most of them started doing their own work on their laptops or just talked to each other in calm voices. 

Finally, when the shouting stopped everyone started packing their things. Washington sighed in relief and looked at the pair who were ready to kill each other not even a second ago. He froze a little as he saw Hamilton covering his nose while blood is gushing out. “Son, what happened?” Washington stood up and walked to the young man who gave him a cold glare. While all of the office stared at the three men. “I'm not your son, and nothing, I'll just go to the bathroom ...” Hamilton walked out of the room. Everyone stared at Jefferson to see if the man had something to do with Hamilton's bloody nose, but to their surprise, Jefferson looked as shocked as they did. Soon enough everyone brushed off the accident as it's not unusual for people to get nosebleed out of a sudden, and Hamilton didn’t live the healthiest lifestyle either. They packed their stuff and finally left home after a tiring meeting. 

I changed from my expensive suit and got into the simple shirt and sweatpants. I really need a rest. Hamilton can suck the life out of me with his idiotic opinions. I put my hair up and started cooking an easy and fast dinner as I don't have the energy for more. Mac and cheese it is, maybe some wine depends if I want to keep at least a little bit of dignity. Who is am I kidding, I am wearing sweatpants, I have no dignity left. 

I put my dinner in a bowl and went to watch some dumb TV show to escape from reality. This escape didn’t last long as my phone buzzed. I looked at it and frowned. It's Hamilton. Of course, it's that little shit. I looked at the email he sent me, it's easier to read it and reply than ignore it as this gremlin would spam me till I answer. I opened the email on my phone and looked at it. “Fuck you my work is good; this shit you pinpointed is total bullshit and you just have the need to insult me. Fuck you Jeffershit” I frowned, this fucker can't leave me alone for once? 

I started typing rather aggressively. “Go fuck yourself, Hamilton, it's not my problem you can't accept your work is a piece of shit, I made good points and you know it. Get over yourself.” I pressed the send button with a frown on my face. 

“God, this fucking idiot.” I threw my phone on the sofa and started enjoying my simple and damn unhealthy dinner which I deserve after this crappy excuse of a day. But not even a minute later my phone buzzed again. “I'm going to murder him, I can hide his body. No one would find him if I hid it in Monticello's gardens...” I said voice full of anger, considering murdering my colleague more than ever before. 

I unlocked my phone and looked at that message. “Listen here you asshole. I called you out about you being unfair and finding mistakes just because I wrote it, If John Adams wrote it you would be kissing his ass about how good it is so fuck you, I won't change anything.” Don’t answer, he will spam you but you can block him, don’t answer. I started telling myself in my head, trying to keep my inner peace. “Fuck it, I won't let him win.” I started writing furiously. 

“First of all, John Adams is a fucking idiot and I wouldn’t even stand near him for more than a few minutes. His work tends to be even more unreadable as yours and second of all you should accept the fact that not all of your work is work of genius as you think it is.” With this, I blocked Hamilton and tried to relax once again. Sadly, for me, I couldn’t calm myself. The young Immigrant is stuck in my head. I sighed. Opened my text messages and texted James. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

T: Fuck that idiot 

J: Hamilton? 

T: Yeah, like he thinks he is above everyone just because Washington is by his side 

J: Maybe you could finally listen to me, for once, and ignore him. It is simple as that 

T: It's not that simple, I hate how he sees himself as if he was some kind of genius when really, he is an arrogant asshole. 

J: You know you are quite similar in some things 

T: HOW DARE YOU! And I thought you were my friend Mr. Madison 

J: Don’t Mr. Madison me Thomas, I just said what everyone is thinking. 

T: We are far from similar 

J: If you say so 

T: God! I wish he would just disappear from my life, am I asking for so much? 

J: No comment on this, don’t say things you could regret 

T: How would I even regret this? I hate him, I want him as far from me as possible. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

James didn't answer after this, I sighed. Sometimes I feel like James is siding with Hamilton too often. He should be by my side with this! I am not wrong, Hamilton is so annoying and overall, just idiotic. 

I ate my dinner and went to the bathroom to wash myself off and got ready for a bed. I can't even describe how much I hate this part of the day. I hate laying in a cold bed without anyone to hold. Without anyone who would make me company in this big and empty house. I laid down into the cold and unwelcoming bed. I used to love this house when my dear Martha welcomed me after a tiring day at work. Her warm smile could outshine the sun. I miss her whining when she couldn’t fall asleep and she begged me to talk to her. My stories always helped her to fall asleep. 

After some time and some unpleasant memories. Thomas finally found some peace in dreamless sleep, unexcited for the morning which will come soon and the routine will repeat itself. 

Alex is glaring at his phone as he sees that that Virginian asshole just blocked him. “FUCK HIM!” John looks at Alex as he angrily shoved his phone in the pocket. “Jesus Alex calm down, he isn't worth it.” John said to me and returned to his phone so he can check his Instagram again. “But he pisses me off so much!” 

“Mon Ami, calm down. You need rest, you are sick after all.” Gilbert looks at me with a pitiful expression. “Stop that Gilbert” I glared at him, I can't bear this expression, it is more annoying than Jefferson. “You are sick?” John looked up from his phone. “I am not sick. I have a mild cold. Nothing unbearable.” Gilbert sighed, went to his room to get ready for a bed as he is not having this argument again. 

“Are you sure Alex? I mean if you are sick maybe you should at least stay at home.” John kept his tone soft and caring. “John, I am fine. I do not need rest. I would even say I need to work more so I'll get through it sooner.” 

“I am pretty sure that is not how it works Lexi.” I gave him a sharp glare for the nickname, why does he feel the need to call me that? But that British asshole named John ignored it and continued. “Okay, if you won't get better, we are going to the hospital. No arguments allowed. Now, I am going to the bed and advice you to do the same.” John smiled at me while I am still glaring at him. “Well, I feel sleepy anyway.” I sighed, stood up, and as an idiot that I am. I hit my shin on the coffee table. I groaned in pain. “Motherfuuuuuuuck-” I sat down next to the table and rub my shin. “Dang it...This will leave a mark...” I groaned again as the pain did not stop and it didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon. “Oh my God, Alex. Are you alright?” 

“Yeah...My dumbass just can't think today...” John sighed. “You should stay at home, for your and everyone else's safety.” John crossed his arms on his chest. Looking down on me. “Do you need help with standing up I could even carry you” He has a smug expression on his face, I glared at him. “I do not need your help you horny idiot” John laughed, still standing above me. Arms crossed on his chest. “Suit yourself. I just wanted to help you.” John shrugged his shoulders. “I would rather stay here the whole night then let you carry me. It would only feed your ego and we do not need that. It is already enormous.” John gave me obviously a fake confused look. “I have an enormous ego? Oh, dear Lexi, I think you confuse me with a mirror.” 

I gasped. “How dare you!” They both laughed, John helped me to stand up and helped me to get to the bed. “Thank you, Jack.” John smiled at him “Just rest for once in your God damn life.” Alex glared at him playfully. “Yeah, fuck you Jack.” 

“Love you too you Asshole” They chuckled, John left without another word, a soft smile on his thin lips. I was suddenly alone. it's not like I mind it at least I have more time for thinking. I rubbed my still very much hurting shin, this will hurt like hell tomorrow. “Sometimes, I am an idiot.” I sighed and lay down, I really should catch up on my sleep. I rolled uncomfortably in my bed trying to find a good position but failing. I don’t even feel tired, but I have to sleep. My mind was floating in the sea of ideas, I want to write. I really do, it's so tempting but I know I can’t. If I start to write now, I won’t get any sleep tonight. 

Which I can’t do, Gilbert would notice it and he would call me sick to the work. Who would then tell Jefferson how wrong he is? Somebody has to bear that burden and I’m willing to do that. I chuckled about my own joke, looking up at the ceiling. I sit up with an annoyed groan. This silence is going to kill me. Even if you live in a city which never sleeps you soon get used to traffic noises and yelling of drunk people so I don’t consider that as a good background sound. I grabbed my headphones and plugged them in. Turned on music on shuffle. This will hopefully help me to relax at least a little bit. 

I feel as if my fever got worst, sudden burning behind my eyes started bugging. This is not my day, well to be honest when it is my day. But today is so different from my other unlucky days, First I got a nosebleed during the damn meeting. I can already tell that Jefferson will not let me live that one out. Even if it is a normal human function, I am sure he will find a way to use it against me during arguments. Now I see that nosebleed as a sign of my upcoming fever. Then I hit my shin on a coffee table and I'm sure I will be limping tomorrow. And now my fever got even worse. Yeah! Such a good day. Well now that I am in bed nothing much can get even worse, right? 

Okay, nothing happened, phew, most of the time when I say something like that something horribly fucks up. Well, it seems like this is not the case. Why did I even say it? Even if I did it only in my head, I was gambling quite a lot. Oh God, I really need to go to sleep. I am starting to be superstitious. Thank God Thomas will never find out about this, he would laugh his ass off. Wait did I just called him Thomas? I frowned at my own stupidity. Jefferson is such an annoying asshole that I can't even get him off my mind. I never met a person who would annoy me as much as that Virginian dick does. Okay, that is quite enough. Hamilton, you need to sleep now! You can't just stay up and insult that idiot, even if it's justified. 

I closed my eyes, listening to my songs. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Well, we are going out with guys. That’s always fun. We get some drinks and get totally wasted. And with some luck, we even get laid. I and John have a great tactic. Gilbert hates it and calls it stupid but it works so I wouldn’t call it stupid. Plus it’s super funny how people react to it, most people who know us. 

I smiled, a good mood overtook my mind as I was trying to fall asleep. Well, hopefully, tomorrow will be as good as he thinks it will be. I yawned and sleep finally came. Tomorrow will be a better day it has to be.


	2. The night when it happened

The sun slowly rose above New York. Soft morning light piercing through Alex's cheap curtains. The young man just rolled uncomfortably as the sun hit his eyes. Their whole apartment already smelled amazingly from eggs and bacon, which were already cooking in the kitchen. Gilbert liked to wake up early on Fridays. He always made breakfast and made sure that his two friends properly ate it. Alexander opened his eyes, already frowning as the sun is shining right into his eyes. Alex sits up his dark brown hair fell on his shoulders. He took his phone and cursed when he realized he forgot to plug it in.

"Please don't be dead" I sighed as I turned on my phone, which has a huge crack in the middle of the display. It's on 20%. I sighed in frustration. "such a beautiful beginning of the day!" I plugged the phone in. At least I'll have more than 20%, and tried to stand up. I felt the familiar pain from yesterday, my shin. I rolled up my pants and looked at my leg. "Sweet Jesus..." My leg has a huge purple bruise on it. As I see it I won't be able to walk properly today. I sighed and changed into the suit and put my hair up.

When I get to the kitchen John and Gilbert are already there chatting and eating. "Good morning," I said as I went straight to the coffee machine. "Good morning Lexi" I turned around and glared at smirking John. "Good morning mon Petit Lion" I made myself a black coffee and put two sugars in it. I like my coffee black but sweet. I sat down with a silent groan. "Are you quite alright Mon Ami?" Gilbert asked as he heard my groan.

"Yeah don't worry, I just hit my shin yesterday and it hurts a little," I said to him as I started to eat. Laf rolled his eyes. "You are quite impossible Alexander" He shakes his head. "What did I do this time! I just hit my leg! It's not like Noone ever did such a thing." John chuckled. "Well yeah but you are hurting yourself way more often than an average human being." I refused to continue this debate about myself so I just started drinking my coffee. I don't feel as hungry as I feel on other mornings so I just started eating a little bit to satisfy Gilbert.

"Alex, really what's wrong?" My overdramatic French friend asked me once again. "Gilbert I am okay! I'm just not hungry that's all" I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Maybe we should cancel the bar today," John suggested.

"What NO! Jesus that's all I'm looking forward to doing today!" I protested as loud as I could. Laf shakes his head. "I don't know Alex, you don't look so good. I don't think you would handle it well." Laf shrugged, eating his breakfast.

"Well, I am an adult anyway so I can do whatever I want. You don't have to go to the bar but I'll go definitely." I drank my coffee and put the empty mug into the dishwasher. "Alexander Hamilton!"

"Gilbert, I have no patience to tell your full name, Lafayette." We started glaring at each other while John his sipping his milky tea.

"You need to stay home Alexander," Gil said with a strict tone. Didn't stop glaring, well neither did I. "How about no? You aren't my parent. You can't tell me what to do." Gilbert sighed.

"You will kill yourself if you continue like this." I shrugged my shoulders. "At least I die young and beautiful." I winked at him. John chuckled probably at my stupidity. Laf is frowning, cleaned up the table.

After this stressful morning, I was more than happy to lock myself in the office and just do paperwork. Today I don't have the mood for Jefferson's bullshit. I opened my laptop and started writing. Successfully ignoring interns and emails which aren't crucial for my work till the lunch when Gilbert stormed in. "Did you eat already?" I sighed.

"Gilbert out, you don't even work here." I didn't even look at him and went back to writing. "I work in this building." He crossed his arms and smirked. "But not in this office so ta-ta." I waved at him with my hand. "Hamilton, it's time to take a break." He closed my laptop, I glared at him. Like how dare he close my laptop just like that? He totally ignored my cold stares as he keeps smiling like an idiot he is. "I won't leave till I see you eat something, my dear Gremlin." God, Why am I friends with him again? He can be so annoying sometimes. As I know he is serious so I stood up, giving him cold stares, and slowly walked to him while glaring at him. "Your leg still hurts?" He asked looking down on my leg. “Yeah, a little bit it's way better than in the morning.” Laf smiled, took my hand, and dragged me to the café nearby, where all of our friends were already waiting.

Everyone was quite surprised as this Friday went without any arguments between Hamilton and Jefferson. Probably because both men were excited about their tonight's plans. And because both of them stayed stuck in their offices writing Paperworks, trying to ignore each other.

Alexander and his friends: Angelica, Peggy, Eliza, John, Gilbert, and Hercules went to the bar almost right after work. As expected, Hercules was the first one to chug his beer. He's actually the only one who's drinking a beer. Well, John sometimes gets one but he rather stays with his favorite choice and that's whiskey. He doesn't like to drink much, he rather stays tipsier than a drunk. Lafayette and girls always stay with the same and not so many alcoholic drinks. And Alex? Well, he Kinda drinks anything. Whiskey? Beer? Wine? Mojito? He will drink it! He does not discriminate!

Everyone settled by the table and started having fun. And Angelica and Alex are dazzling the room for some attention from strangers. Which they easily got. Alex wasn't a shy man. He would flirt with anyone. Angelica on the other hand. She was pickier. She wanted to have a conversation on what Alex always reacted with a loud laugh. If she wants a conversation she should have gone to a café or book store, not a bar. Alex was actually busy with one older man when Jefferson and Madison came to the bar.

Thomas imminently noticed Hamilton's friends. "Maybe we should go somewhere else." I turned on my heel and started fleeing. But I noticed James did not follow me. He did quite opposite, he walked to the bar. Little shit. I thought and went to sit down next to him. "I hate you," I ordered my expensive whiskey while James ordered a wine. Not a typical choice for a bar but who am I to judge. "You don't hate me, Thomas." James took a wine glass to his lips and took a small sip. "I do, I really do. Look Hamilton can be anywhere nearby and I do not want to risk that," I took my whiskey and took a long sip.

"I am pretty sure he will not bother you tonight." I looked at him with an ' are you sure ' look and he just nods, the wine still close to his mouth. He looked at the corner of the bar and I followed his eyes only to see Hamilton. He had an expression that Thomas never saw before. He was half-sitting on some man's lap, looking at him in such a flirty way. He was wearing emerald green pants with a sleeveless turtleneck. Which actually showed his body quite well. What the fuck! Why did I just comment on his body like that!

I shook my head and looked away. Unfamiliar feeling settled down in my stomach. "Yeah, he seems to be having a fun time." I drunk the rest of my whiskey and ordered another one. James chuckled, slowly drinking his red wine. All of a sudden young woman sat down next to me. I did not pay attention to her but soon enough she spoke with a familiar voice. "Thomas Jefferson. how are you son of the Devil." I looked at the woman and soon enough I knew who it was. "Miss Schuyler, for what do I owe the pleasure." I turned my head back to face the bar, she chuckled, holding her drink. "Why so polite Thomas, we know each other for ages." Angelica crossed her legs leaning on the bar. Looking at Thomas. "You know me, I try to be polite towards women, especially if they can destroy me with the snap of their fingers." They both chuckled, sipping on their drinks. "Anyway, what brings you here. I don't mean the bar, I mean more this chair. Which is next to me." I looked at her. James is watching his surrounding, doesn't want to talk to the woman."

"Oh I was just bored and I saw you, an old friend. Just wanted to check up on you." She smiled at me. And I smiled back. "Well isn't that nice." we ended up chatting a little after she saw a potentially good looking man. She even asked my opinion and I just shrugged my shoulders and said. "What do I know." She nod 

"Good point." I looked at her offendedly. She laughed on top of her lungs. "Well! It was nice to see you again Thomas." She slid out of her seat and walk to the man. I sighed. I really like her but she can be too much for me. She is never satisfied with anything. If she asks you a question there is an almost non-chance your answer will be enough. That's too much stress for me. I stood up. "I'll be right back," I told my best friend and grab my cigarettes. "I'll be right back, just gonna go outside for a quick smoke." James nod and I left outside.

I lit my cigarette and lean on the wall. It's a quiet night for New York. People are shouting and being their proud drunken selves. Yeah, New York. On nights like this, I missed Virginia more than ever. People here are so rude and they all think just about themselves unlike in his beautiful hometown. People were coming and leaving the bar and I successfully ignored them all. Until someone stood right next to me, struggling to lid their cigarette. I looked at the young man when I recognized my mortal enemy. I rolled my eyes and lit his cigarette. "Thank you" I simply nod, he leaned on the wall right next to me with a soft uncomfortable moan. 

"Are you alright?" I mumbled, taking the unhealthy smoke into my lungs and exhaling it into the cold night air. "Don't." Alexander glared at him. "Don't act as you care, it is annoying." I shook my head. I can smell alcohol from Alexander, he's already tipsy. I can see that as he struggles to keep himself on his own legs."Well, see you later I guess." I mumbled and put out my cigarette on the wall and threw it away. Sat back on the bar next to my friend and decided to get blackout drunk. Why? I don't know, I just need this. I need to get drunk. 

James looked at his friend after few hours in the club. Thomas is too drunk to string a few words together. "Let's get you home Thomas." Thomas shakes his head. " You can go, I want to stay here for a little while."James sighed. "You gonna regret this in the morning." Thomas drunk more of the whiskey. " Oh shush, I..I..ehmm haven't got drunk like this s-since I-ehm...I don't know.."James rolled his eyes and left his drunk friend to do his own decisions.

Thomas stubbled out of the bar when he noticed his drunk college. " H-Hamilton?" The young man looked at him, obviously drunk. " Heeeeey Jefferson." Alexander has red cheeks from Alcohol. He helplessly leans on the wall to prevent himself from falling to the ground. "where are your f-friends?" Thomas asked, trying to get a Taxi. " Don not know, they left." leaning on the wall. Something in Thomas's dumb mind felt solidarity and decided to help out his drunken college. He sighed. " Come here." Alex looks at him, took Thomas's hand which he was offering him. He falls onto his chest and Thomas blushed. Feeling butterflies in his stomach as he saw the younger man so up close. Soon they caught a taxi and fall in it, Thomas told him his address while Alex is rambling about some dumb stuff. Soon they got into the house and they both helplessly fall down on Thomas's bed. Alex started to laugh. Thomas looked at him. "W-whats so..so..fuck...ehm funny?" For some reason, he started to laugh as well. " I have nooooo idea." Laughing. They look at each other and somewhere in their drunk minds there sparked an idea. They came closer together, so close they can smell alcohol from their breath. So close they can feel each other's warm bodies. So close that their lips touched.


	3. Chapter 3

Thomas slowly woke up in his comfortable bed which for some reason feels warmer than usual. But he can't quite focus on comfortable warmth in bed as his head is pounding. He groaned. Hangover, why did he thought drinking so much would be a good idea. Someone moved beside him and cuddles to his bare chest. Just now he realized there is someone else, and they are both naked. That's new...and still so familiar. 

But I am an idiot did I actually took a stranger to my house? And I slept with them too. I can already hear James laughing at me. Even though all my senses were screaming at me not to do it I wrapped my arms around the stranger. Their soft skin, and silky hair. I smell an odor of alcohol and sweat but at the same time, there is a subtle smell of coconut shampoo. I inhale trying to memorize this feeling. Feeling of not being alone. Their warm body against mine, softly cuddling to my chest. I should stop, but I don’t want to. This is far too comfortable, far too domestic for me to stop. I craved this for far too long to just stop. I wrapped my arm around their back and put one in their soft hair to bring them closer. They automatically snuggled closer to me. 

Even though it is too comfortable to leave, I can't live in a fantasy. I opened my eyes ready to face reality. At least I thought I was ready. I looked down and saw a man with brown hair, I smiled softly. But my smile turned into panic when I finally saw their face. Alexander Hamilton. My nemesis and co-worker...laying in my bed...in my house. Okay, Thomas time to freak out! Or no, this has to have some good explanation. I'm sure I did not just sleep with him. Maybe our drunk selves had dirty clothes and that’s why we are naked. Yeah! That’s it! Nothing else had happened! We got dirty, we took off our clothes and we lay down in the bed and slept peacefully through the night. That’s what happened! 

I quickly but carefully got out of the bed. Alex moved a little but he didn’t wake up. I rushed to a bathroom with spare clothes in my hand. How could I have been so stupid! We hate each-other! He hates me! I splashed my face with cold water and got into the shower, trying not to think about the young immigrant in my bedroom. 

Where is the warmth? I felt so warm just a second ago where did it go? I moved a little but refused to open my eyes as the bed is too soft and comfy for it. I heard the click of the door and then water. Laf is probably showering. But then it hit me. I don’t have a soft bed like this. Where the fuck am I! I sat up and opened my eyes in a rush just to see the room which I never saw before. The room is beautiful and elegant. Walls are painted with steel grey color and the furniture is in light almost white grey. But the room doesn’t look boring as there are various light and dark blue things. This room looks straight out of Pinterest. I hate that app. It's all just too perfect for my taste. 

I looked around better and I saw a pile of clothes. Correction, I saw a pile of MY clothes. SHIT! I am naked. I quickly got up and put my clothes on. As I was struggling to put on my pants, I noticed something that took my breath away. And not in a good way. I took the blue picture frame into my hands and looked at the photo. Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. What have I done! I am doomed! My life is over! Okay no, Alex don't be overdramatic, as always. I have to get out as soon as possible. I checked my stuff. Where is my wallet. I looked around but there is no trace of it. Oh God, all my stuff was there, my ID! If I don’t find it, I'll be in so much trouble! 

Suddenly someone opened the door. I know exactly who is it. I looked up at my nemesis. Well shit. It took me too long. “...Hey..” I said not really happy, He frowns. This is so awkward. “Hey” He answered with the same number of enthusiasts. “ So... What do we do about us?” Us? There is no us Jefferson. There will never be us. I looked at him. “Us? There is no us you idiot. This.” I point at him and me. “That was a mistake.” Jefferson sighed in relief. “Huuge mistake.” He agreed with me. That’s the first time that happened. “Glad we agree.” 

“So, this never happened agreed?” He nods “Definitely, I don't need to destroy my reputation because of one stupid night.” He leaned on the door frame, eyes Wondering all over me. Which to be honest made me uncomfortable. But I refused to back off. So, I stared back. This is a terrific way how to make this even more awkward! “Please tell me you saw my wallet” In the hope to change the subject I started searching around the room. Thomas seems as if in relief that we do not have to talk about it. “Here it is.” He found it under the bed. We both reached for it at the same time. We looked at each other. The tension was undeniable. The bad feeling of wanting to interfere with our fingers. And kiss softly. What the FUCK Alexander! Are you insane! I scolded myself in my head. I shake my head a little, took my wallet, and stood up. “So, we agree, this never happened.” He stood up as well so I am no longer looking down at him. Screw his overgrown ass. “Yes, we agree, this was a mistake and it never happened.” I showed my wallet and keys into my back pocket. “I'm glad we are on the same note, now bye Jefferson history is erased!” I ran out of his house and ordered Uber wishing I could really erase the time. 

I hide my face in my hands as Hamilton got out of the house. This is such a royal mess. I must get this out of my mind. I cannot think of it. I cannot think of Alex's soft coconut smell. His silky brown hair. His soft pale skin. Suddenly he is a different person. But how? I cannot even remember what happened. I grabbed a glass of water. The glass is foggy from how cold the water was. I took a long longing sip. And put the glass into the sink. I was searching in my memory. I need to know if it really happened. Did we really have sex or is this just a dumb misunderstanding? 

A hot breath on my neck. 

Soft lips on mine. 

Getting rid of our clothes. 

Bed. 

Okay, yes, we did it. God Damit. I rubbed my thumb over my lips. ' Soft lips against mine, Mint chapstick. ' I shake my head and rubbed my hurting eyes. They feel like if they are burning. It's uncomfortable. I need to rest or a drink before I go insane from this absurd situation. 

Meanwhile, Alexander rushed to his shared apartment and tried to sneak into his room. But as soon as he closed the door. A familiar voice with a thick French accent sounded around the room. 

“Well, well, well. Where were you " 

I froze a little but brushed it off so I won't look suspicious. "Oh, you know, got picked up by some random dude at the bar." I started fleeing to my room. Yup, a random dude! Names Thomas Jefferson! HAHAHAHA!  
"Are you okay? You look weirder than usual." I flicked him off and he just chuckled about it. "I am fine just stupid hangover."  
"Hmmm"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing Mon Petit Lion. nothing." He dramatically sipped from his cup which he is holding the way he can still make eye contact. 

"Never mind weirdo I am going to catch up on my sleep."

"Impossible!" I glared at him. What's up with him today! He is always sassy but this? Tsssss, too much Gilbert.

"Can you not today? I had a terrible night." He chuckled and let me escape to my room where I just laid down on my bed. Took a pillow and screamed into it. Frustration got to me, don't judge. I feel like I want to punch something but with my luck this past few days I wouldn't dare it. This has to be a dream, no this has to be a nightmare. 

The worst part is that I have to face him on Monday! I can't just ignore him for the rest of my life. Even though I would very much like that. Well, I could move to Canada. No, too cold. Australia? HELL NAH! Ew spiders. When I finally accepted that escape is impossible I decided I will go with plan A. Ignore Thomas Jefferson for as long as I can. 

The weekend was horrible for both of them. Both men were not thinking straight, overthinking the whole situation. They often lost themselves in thoughts. They were not ready to face each other on Monday, the agreement was on and no one but them knows what happened. They agreed to forget this mistake. But both men, could not do such a thing. The whole accident is playing in their heads over and over again. Will this change their relationship? Well, if they even had a relationship, to begin with. As expected, they both came to the same conclusion. They will ignore each other as long as possible. Preferably forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank you all for all your comments and kudos. And second of all, I wanted to apologize for updating so late. I didn't have the best week so far as school got in the way. This chapter is a little bit shorter too, but I promise I will update as soon as possible with possibly a longer one. Again, thank you all for everything! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

A week. That is how long they managed to ignore each other. No one knew what happened but they were not complaining as the office was finally somehow calm work environment. But nothing can stay calm forever. Mr. Washington mistook their now calm interactions, which weren't frequent. As a sign, they are finally getting along. He called them both in his office. Weird tension was all around those two but he didn’t question it as it is not his place to do so. Their glances were jumping from eye contact with their Boss to watching each other. Looking away whenever their glances met. The feeling of hatred was suddenly gone, replaced by awkwardness and tension. Those few seconds felt like an eternity in this silence. Waiting for their boss to start talking. 

“Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Hamilton. I am really glad to see you are finally getting along better.” Both young men stayed quiet. Not wanting to admit to their boss the truth. “So, I decided to use this opportunity and give you a case together.” Oh no, oh nononononono. They both thought, if they get a case together, they won't be able to ignore each other! “This case is rather important for our company. So, I won't take a No for an answer.” Fuck. 

“But sir-” Alexander tried to object but Washington didn’t let him. 

"Mr. Hamilton, when I first hired you two my plan was to pare you two for cases. But that turned out terrible as you two seemed to hate each other. Now that your relationship is better, I need you to cooperate and win this case. That is my final word." Washington said not letting two men object. "And Mr. Jefferson it will give you an opportunity of which you asked me for.” Thomas had an uncertain expression as he started to think about what his Boss is referring to. “Well, the client lives in Virginia so you can work in your hometown.” Thomas's eyes light up a little but then his face turned blank again as he realized what it means. “Sir with all respect I do not wish to go to Virginia and work there with Jefferson.” Hamilton crossed his arms. “Son, as I said I am not giving you options you are both already signed up for it. You Have a meeting with our client on Wednesday. So, I advise you to leave for Virginia today to get ready.” Washington did not leave the room to object and dismissed them. As their eyes met, they both froze. Watching one another intensively. Thomas watched as Alex's hair was neatly put in a ponytail. His green suit little bit wrinkled, as always, his brown eyes scanning Thomas. His fluffy black hair seeming soft to the touch, his dark brown eyes in which Alex could drown if he allowed himself. Magenta suit blinding Alex's eyes, he hates the color but Thomas looks amazingly in it. They watched each other, feeling themselves getting closer when Aaron Burr walked by and gave them a weird outlook. They at once stepped away from each other. Thomas cleared his throat. “Go pack, I will pick you up in two hours.” He left as soon as he said it leaving Alexander behind. 

Alexander burst into the Gilberts office. “You don’t work here, so what are you doing here.” Gilbert throws at Alexander exactly what Alex told him. “Touche, but I need your help.” Gilbert shut his laptop and looked at his friend. “Go on” Alex sat down. “I got assigned a case in Virginia.” French man nod. “I got it assigned with Jefferson.” Gilbert burst out laughing and Alexander shot him a death glare. "Don't laugh you, idiot! It isn't funny!” The French man is still laughing. “Sorry Mon petit lion, but this is just too good.” Alex slaps his palms on the table. “How is it good! I will die there!” 

“You will not die Alexandre if anything you'll get into the prison for manslaughter.” Alexander thought a little. “good point, but that is not giving you the right to be an asshole.” Lafayette raised his eyebrows. “Being honest with you is considered to be an asshole? How is that possible?” Alex clicked with his tongue, frowning angrily. “But that brings me back to your question. How am I even supposed to help you?” 

“Make some excuse for me to Washington, He is rather fond of you.” 

“He is fond of you as well and It was no help.” Alex slams his head to the desk. Laf gave him a horrified look. “oh, mon Dieu! Alexandre!” Alex made a muted scream. “Hey, you can survive. You survived the worse. How bad can Jefferson be?” Alex sigh, nod and left home to pack. 

Thomas was nervously packing his clothes and everything he needs. Maybe I could get some methanol and mixed it with Hamiltons coffee or something. Then all of his problems would be suddenly gone! The only problem is that if he dies in Monticello Thomas would be the main suspect. And Washington would probably kill him for killing his puppy. Fuck this, he is forced to sleep under the same roof as Hamilton. He is forced to allow that gremlin into his house. He is forced to wake up every morning for a whole week. Looking into his eyes. Being close to him. Feeling his heat as they will be close. Thomas shakes his head in disgust at these thoughts. What the fuck was that. He thought. As he packed the last things and closed the suitcase. “This will be a fucking disaster.” 

Both men accepted their fates as they realized they can't change anything now. Alexander put his things into the trunk when Thomas came for him in his black BMW. Thomas opened up the door for him while staying in the car. Alexander silently sat in the car and put his seatbelt on. When he finally looked around, he noticed a beautiful red and black interior of the car. He really liked it. The smell of the car was calming. He wasn’t surprised Thomas took such care of his car. He always knew he was a neat person. He quite admires that as he himself was a messy person. He sat in quiet for a little and then he took out a book. Thomas was an excellent driver. He was annoyingly perfect. Alex hates that about him. He was born rich, handsome, and smart. While he was poor and even if he was considered pretty next to Thomas he looks like an ugly duckling. He can't even concentrate on his book. Fuck this man. He is the exact representation of everything Alexander hates. But still, there is something about him he just can't pinpoint. He knows he hates him, but there are few things he actually adores and finds adorable or even attractive. For example, Jefferson's accent. Which he is trying to hide but it slips sometimes. Mainly during the arguments. He finds that feature quite cute. Or how he gets anxious in big crowds. Many did not notice it but Thomas always gets stiff if he is the center of attention for too long. Especially if the attention is from strangers. He finds it attractive how Thomas's white shirt sometimes shows off Thomas's muscular arms and stomach. He wishes that Thomas would pin him to the wall in it and kissed him gently and softly. Alex bites his lip a little when he stopped in a wave of shock. Did he just think about Thomas Jefferson kissing him? He wanted to slap himself. He rather took out his phone and started texting with anyone who could. 

Thomas watched as Alex bit his lip. He tried to ignore it but he could feel something like jealousy settle down in his stomach. He wants to know what is he thinking about. He wants to know who or what made Alex react like that. He hates that he feels that need to know. He has no right to ask. Thomas watched as a young immigrant was texting and smiling happily on his phone. He wanted to take the phone and check it. He wanted to know why was he biting his lip. He needed to know. 

They had a 5-hour drive ahead of them and thought of it made them both sick. The majority of their time they stayed silent. Listening to podcasts which surprisingly both of them enjoyed. Thomas was actually happy that he found something they can both enjoy. But he felt weirded out by Alexander's silence. He never heard this man being quiet for so long. It was two hours on the road and they didn’t exchange a single word. Hamilton was gripping a book. “So, were you ever in Virginia?” Thomas started to talk as the silence was driving him crazy. “Really, a small talk?” Alexander chuckled. Looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, fuck you, I hate this awkward ride as much as you do. Let's not make it even worse than it already is.” Thomas rolled his eyes, focusing on a road. “I have never been in Virginia,” Alex admitted, Thomas gasped. “And you asshole dare to trash talk it when you were never there?” Alex pounded like a small child. “Hey we trash talk Florida and we haven't been there either.” Thomas gasped even more. “You have never been to Florida!” Alex sighed. “I feel like I fucked up.” He leans on the window, looking out. “You are so coarse. You have to visit a shithole as well sometimes you know. You will learn a lot from it.” Thomas was satisfied by the change of mood. “Not everyone has money to travel you, idiot.” Thomas chuckled. “You would have money if you didn’t spend it all on Starbucks and books.” Alex looked at him. Glaring but not in an angry way, it was somehow playful. “Listen here you Virginian shit, Starbuck is worth it. And I need books to not go insane while working with you.” Thomas laughed. “Starbucks is overrated,” Thomas admitted. “And you call me coarse when you can say such a bullshit.” Thomas felt a warm feeling as he enjoyed this new type of conversation they have. “Literally how dare you, how fucking dare you. Have you ever tried it yet?” Thomas nod. “I tried it once and it sucked.” 

“Well, I have to say you are dead wrong.” Alex is glaring at Thomas, closed his book, Thomas smiled in a small victory as he managed to switch Alex's attention fully on himself. “No, I don’t think I am.” Thomas is smirking as he loves to mock Hamilton. He has a short temper. So, when he sees the opportunity, he takes it. “We are stopping at nearest Starbucks, no debates.” 

“Oh, hell we are not.” 

“Oh, hell we are Tommy” Alex stuck out his tongue, and they both laughed. 

“Let's make a deal, we will go to Starbucks and I will show you how great is Virginia.” Alex thought for a little bit. “No, we will go to Starbucks for the rest of the week and I will give Virginia a chance.” Thomas thought. “Hmmm, Okay, deal.” Alex smiled, relaxed a little bit. Thomas stopped the car and search for the nearest Starbucks. “Found one about 30 minutes away, and It has a drive-through.” 

“Great! I already have drinks which you might like in mind.” Thomas started a car again. “You do? How is that, were you planning to invite me on a date, Lexi?” Thomas mocked him. 

“First of all, don’t fucking call me Lexi, and second of all no, I just know your damn taste after years of working with you.” He crossed his arms on his chest. Thomas chuckled and drove them to the Starbucks. Alex ordered them two drinks, not giving Thomas a choice. He hands Thomas and Iced Americano while he had his Iced caramel macchiato. “This looks disgusting,” Alex shot him a glare. “You haven't even tried it, you promised to give it a chance.” Thomas chuckled. “Okay, okay.” He took a sip and to his surprise, it wasn’t that bad. A little bit strange but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it will be. “Eh, I don’t see anything special in it.” Thomas shrugged his shoulders. “You little shit. I know you like it, don’t lie to me.” Alex is drinking his own drink. “I didn’t say it's bad. All I said is that it's not worth 6 dollars.” 

“Try mine.” Hand him his drink. Thomas stopped a little bit but did not let the chance slip by and tried it. Alex is watching him, trying to read his expression. He doesn’t know why but somehow, he really likes this drink. It's better. “Yeah, this one is a little bit better.” Alex's eyes shine a little in satisfaction. “Keep it, I like both of these drinks.” Thomas smiled a little. 

Soon they got going, the atmosphere in the car changed. It was calmer, more relaxed. When they finally got to Monticello Alex was texting. Not looking around when Thomas stopped the car. “Welcome to Monticello.” Alex looked up and his breath stopped. “Holy shit, this is pretty, you live here?” Thomas chuckled. “I do, well when I am not in New York now it's time for your part of the deal.”


	5. Chapter 5

Alexander was amazed by the beauty of Monticello. Every room had its own character, they were all elegant. He didn’t expect anything else from Thomas's house. This Virginian dumbass was always kind of a snob. You could spot it from miles away with his expensive clothes and cologne. Thomas showed Alex his room and Alex put down his things in there. The room was dark as every piece of furniture was from walnut. The carpet, bedsheets, curtains, and accessories were all in green and gold colors. It was beautiful, he's not gonna lie. He felt exhausted from the tiring 5-hour drive and as it was already night he felt like he wanted to do nothing more than sleep. He was changing when he noticed his bruised leg. Somehow it is still not getting any better. ‘Come on Alex, it’s just a bruise.’ He thought to himself. As he was just in his underwear, searching for his pajamas in a suitcase. The heavy dark door opened and the young Virginian came in. An awkward silence spread over the room. Two men’s eyes locked with each other. As if this business trip couldn’t get any worse. When they both finally realized what they were doing Alexander's cheeks turned bright red and Thomas looked away. “Ehm..well there is some food in the kitchen if you are hungry...” Thomas’s cheeks darken as well. Doing his best not to look at the smaller man. “Yeah...Thanks, I guess.” Alexander felt exposed. Thomas turned on his heel and fled from the room, leaving Alexander behind to deal with overwhelming feelings. He didn't know what to do so he decided to do the only logical thing he could think of. Which was to text James. He could always count on his best friend to help him. He practically told him everything.

T: James, help me.  
J: Don't drag me into this mess Thomas.  
T: You don't even know why I need your help!  
J: Your confusing feeling for Hamilton. That's for what you need my help.  
T: James, please!  
J: Listen Thomas I do not want to hear about whatever sexual tension is happening between you and Hamilton  
T: We don't have sexual tension!  
J: Oh, you are still in denial? Okay.  
T: I am not in denial, I hate Hamilton I just, IDK!  
J: You don't hate him, you never did. Geez, Tom, I have known you for years. I would know If you really hated him.  
T: Oh really? How would you know? Hm?  
J: Because even though you play to be a tough guy and you try to hide your feelings. Your eyes always tell the truth. And you never show hate towards Hamilton, annoyance? Definitely, but not hate.  
T: Well you are wrong, Hamilton is a prick and I hate him.  
J: Well if you say so.

Thomas glared at his phone. “Well, that didn't help.” James was a good friend but when it came to Hamilton he was often just fed up by their strange relationship. He was glad Washington had sent them on this business trip. He was sick of Thomas complaining about the same person and things over and over again. And the whole office just prayed they'll get somehow closer together or at least start to tolerate each other. For the sake of their sanity. 

Alexander felt weird out by all of this. The longer he is with Thomas the stranger their relationships seem to be. He craves to be with him, talk to him, touch him. And somehow at the same time, he just wants to slap that stupid face of his. 

Both men laid down in their beds. Thinking about each other. Coldness surrounding them in silky beds. soft moonlight piercing through the curtains. The silence is interrupted by occasional wind hitting the window. Their eyelids slowly close as they become heavier and heavier every time they blink. 

Thomas woke up barely feeling rested. It was a hard dreamless night. He thought about what James told him, It's not like he told him that much. He really wants to get to know Alexander. He needs to understand their relationship. He doesn't want to wake up one day and realize he missed a chance for something. He doesn't want to walk around looking at the painted sky wondering what could have been. They cannot be enemies if he feels this way. What does he have to lose? They are not friends, so if they drift apart even more nothing will change. He has only to gain. Maybe a friend, maybe something more. Thomas opened the window and fresh air with the smell of the blooming flowers and wet grass from the morning dew hit his nose. His eyes traveled all over the garden of Monticello. Trees planted by his ancestors reaching for the sky, showing off their beautiful and juicy fruits. He couldn't help himself as he smiled at memories of his childhood and his wedding with Martha. She was beautiful in her white dress, hair neatly braided under the veil. Her blue eyes kept eye contact with Thomas while holding a bouquet of daisies. She insisted on having a simple family wedding and Thomas delivered her just that. She saw no need for a big wedding. “It is nothing but a waste of money.” She said that to him many times. Now when she is gone he wishes he would have insisted on otherwise. She deserved far more than he could ever give her. What if he really likes Hamilton? What if James is right. He could hurt him as much as he hurt...her… As Buddha once said, You can only lose something you cling to... To this day he remembers hearing her cries in the next room, the worst sound he ever heard. Her broken sobs, she tried to hide them by crying to a pillow but he could hear her. He tried to fix it, but it was too late. By holding her close he only hurt her more. And she did not deserve such faith. So he let go. That was five years ago, he didn't even know Hamilton then. But it still hurts like it was yesterday.  
He closed his eyes to stop his eyes from tearing up. Sharp pain in his chest and stomach made it hard. He wanted to fall on his knees, crying out loud, scream so she could hear him. So she could know he is paying for his mistakes. But he knows she doesn't wish such a thing. She is too kind for that. He hopes she isn't even thinking about him as he knows it can cause her nothing but pain.

Alexander couldn't sleep that much. He was walking around Monticello barefoot, looking at oil paintings hanging on the walls. When one of them catches his eyes more than others. It was a painting of Thomas and one woman. She had blond hair, soft freckles on her cheeks. Thomas was wearing one of his favorite suits, it was dark pink with a black shirt fully buttoned up. While she was wearing an elegant dress in light pink color. They matched perfectly. But he did not recognize her, and he was certain she wasn't one of Thomas's many siblings. He was lost in those blue-painted eyes. She was beautiful. He looked around but he hasn't seen another painting with her. only this one. Which started his curiosity but it doesn't matter how much he looks around there were no clues. He knows he shouldn't snoop around but he can't help himself. He needs to know who that woman was. Maybe it was Thomas's old friend, or maybe his aunt or cousin. 

His mind was racing when he opened the heavy double door and his breath stopped. His eyes looking around the big library. Full of new and old books. The smell of paper, old leather, and ink, which he didn't see yet but he could definitely tell it was present in this room, hit his nose. He slowly walked into the room. His fingers running through the backs of the books. He adored books and collection like this seemed like a dream come true. A fairytale even. He took one book out, it was old but in great shape. It was The wonderful wizard of Oz but not any common one. It was the original one, it had the bizarre red lion on it and Alexander couldn't help himself. He smiled, relaxed. As he remembered the times when his mom read to him and James till they fell asleep. Her smooth voice rocking them to deep sleep. Her long and skinny fingers playing with their hair. He opened the book, it had writing on the front page. “To my dear Martha.” He could recognize the handwriting everywhere, he read too many stupid ideas in this exact handwriting. Ink looked old, faded from the sun. It even smudged a little bit as if someone ran their finger over it when it wasn't dried properly yet. He did the same thing as the person did, he ran his thumb over the cursive. He didn't have a reason to do so he just wanted to. As he gently flipped the pages, memories running through his head. Familiar warm feelings filling his chest. Book's pages were yellowish, the calming smell of the old paper surrounding him. He swears he could hear the ocean in his hometown. He could hear the waves hitting the shore on a sunny day. He could hear the wind playing with the trees and the busy market in the morning as he was sitting in the window reading. His childhood maybe wasn't perfect but he had many fond memories, and this was one of them. 

Thomas went to call Alexander for breakfast when he noticed he was no longer in his assigned room. He sighed, he should have expected he would scavenge his home if he got a chance. He is probably looking for some blackmail, well sadly for him there is nothing he has to hide. People already knew about Thomas's mistakes. He is probably the only one who doesn't know everything. He wanted it to stay like that but he should have known it would be impossible. As Thomas was walking around, looking through every room to find that Gremlin before he destroys something, or better before he finds something that would show him what an awful person Thomas is. He noticed library doors open so he looked in and the image he saw printed into his mind. Alexander was standing barefoot in the library, hair down on his shoulders. He looked so relaxed, he never saw him in this light. Morning sun shining on him, dust particles flying around him. He looked like a painting. Like a photo, someone styled perfectly, but this was no painting or photo, it was reality. He never considered him as a pretty person, nor he ever considered him as a person at all. It was his enemy, no not enemy, he already figured that out. It was a person he knew. And someone he despised and adored at the same time. He really was like a mysterious painting, he was not perfect but it made him feel something. He stood there, quiet. Just trying to memorize everything about this moment. Alexander looks at him. The eye contact sparked a warm fire in his soul. They were just standing there, watching each other. After a while, Alexander closed the book and returned it to its place. “Good morning.” Thomas broke the silence. “Good Morning, sorry I just stumbled upon this room and I couldn't help myself.” He rubs the back of his neck, chuckles nervously. 

“Oh no problem, it's not like I hold FBI secrets here.” He tried to make a joke, but he felt like it was just stupid so he chuckled to break the silence but to his surprise, even Alex chuckled. “ You would be dumb if you did, this? is just...amazing” He looked around, his eyes adoring everything about the room. “Breakfast is ready if you are hungry, which you probably are when you haven't eaten anything yesterday.” I turned to leave when he heard Alex's light footsteps sounding behind him. 

They both ate in silence, which was a new thing for them, but they did not mind it. They both felt the change in their relationship. And they both didn't know what to do about it. So all they could do for now is stay silent and avoid whatever this is for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am alive, I'm really sorry for my inactivity but I am back now and I will try to upload regularly but I cannot promise anything. I hope you enjoyed the chapter I am already working on chapter 6 so expect it soon.


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